The Dave Casper Experience

All done.

2010-04-27T18:55:00.001-05:00

Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's pesticide-free lawn care

2010-04-21T10:14:00.006-05:00

But would you look at that lawn!

I'm a pretty strong advocate of natural lawn care. When it's financially feasible, I'll make an effort to do it.

But for everyone out there claiming that Shorewood Village Trustees have voted to spend nearly $1,000 more per acre to reduce the use of pesticides on Village property because it's the safer for the community (and not simply a "feel good" effort), I have two questions:

1. Will it really make a difference when countless homeowners are still applying pesticides to their lawns? The 13 acres where pesticide free lawn care will be applied constitutes only about 1.25% of the total 1,024 square acres in the Village.

2. How is it possible to claim that citizen safety truly is the number one priority among the trustees when they can't seem to find the money to pay for lifeguards at Atwater Beach?

Token Leftie

2010-04-17T17:57:00.001-05:00

"I’m not quite sure what it is about pasty white urban liberals that makes
them think they have the right to judge the “authenticity” of someone’s race,
but it must be tied to the same poorly oxygenated part of the brain that makes
them blind to the fact assigning a skin color an ideology is racism of the first
order itself."
-Observation found here.

What "Keith Schmitz" must be talking about

2010-04-13T14:12:00.004-05:00

...because if it's the alternative, the man's truly delusional.

UPDATE: Over at Boots and Sabers, Keith Schmitz is claiming that the "Keith Schmitz" who regularly hurls overboard insults at folks is not the real Keith Schmitz. If that's the case, shame on whoever it is for using his name. Double-shame on that person for being an idiot with his comments.

UPDATE II: For the record, the common nicknames used for Keith Schmitz or Chris "Capper" Liebenthal are pretty childish. To those that use them regularly, you certainly don't portray yourselves very well.

Priorities

2010-04-07T11:59:00.002-05:00

Holiday lights will multiply thanks to donors
By MARY BUCKLEY
Posted: April 6, 2010

Capitol Drive will be a little brighter during the holiday season this year. The Village Board will pay up to $2,000 toward the $10,000 cost of additional seasonal lights, the lighted snowflakes seen this past year.
The Shorewood Foundation, Business Improvement District and Community Development Authority will pay the remainder.
I like Christmas and all the decorations and such, but not as much as I dislike drowning people.

_______________________

I like Christmas and all the decorations and such, but not as much as I dislike drowning people.

_______________________

Lifeguards too costly for Atwater; village working with county on plan
By MARY BUCKLEY
Posted: April 6, 2010

The village cannot afford the proposed cost of four lifeguards for Atwater Beach but wants to provide guards this summer and will work with Milwaukee County to determine an affordable plan.
The county can provide four lifeguards seven days a week from 11:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. at a cost of $18,500.
The village has $8,000 in its budget for the lifeguards but Village Manager Chris Swartz said he could adjust the budget to $13,500 if the village and county could agree on that price.
The Shorewood Foundation has agreed to cover the costs of equipment that will be needed but will not pay for operational costs.

_______________________

I've got some calls in to see if anyone here is putting two and two together.

Nobody saw this coming...

2010-03-19T12:18:00.003-05:00

Except, you know, the other bookstore in the exact same spot that experienced the exact same "confluence of events" that forced them out of business.

Open Book closing in Shorewood.

Oh...and me.

True Dat

2010-02-17T11:00:00.001-06:00

Seen here.

Your building is ugly

2010-01-19T14:34:00.004-06:00

So it looks like the Pizza Man building is no more.

What I find most interesting about this is that one of the first things I've heard from a lot of folks today is that they're concerned an "ugly" building will take its place. Even the Journal Sentinel's forum on Pizza Man memories saw a few comments:

...I have no faith in a developer creating a building that will go well in
that space. Say hello to a glass and steel monstrosity.

Let's hope the
building site isn't disgraced in the same way with an anonymous strip mall.

I hope local officials are paying attention and will make sure that not
just any building is allowed to replace what was there.

It seems to me that more and more people are growing sick and tired of the hip and trendy architectural styles that are popping up all over. And in a city known for its brick, is it really that surprising?

Look, I'm as much for innovation in architecture as the next guy, but when you look at some of the recent commercial and large-scale residential development that's been going on, it really seems to take away from the city's character. That one of the first things people worry about when an old building is destroyed is what sort of monstrosity will replace it should be of concern to city leaders and developers alike that people are starting to get used to, if not liking, the fact that your building is ugly.

Consider yourself warned

2009-12-14T18:53:00.002-06:00

Two years ago tonight we were eating stuffed poblano peppers for dinner.

24 hours later we were the proud owners of brand new beautiful bouncing* baby girl.

So consider yourself warned the next time you're thinking of eating stuffed poblano peppers.

*They don't really bounce.

Let's protest CO2 emissions!

2009-12-10T19:04:00.002-06:00

By emitting CO2!

Group to stage climate rally in Shorewood
By Tom Kertscher of the Journal Sentinel
Posted: Dec. 10, 2009 3:44 p.m.

Shorewood — Residents who want leaders to "take strong and fair action
to reduce our CO2 gases" will hold a candlelight vigil at 6 p.m. Friday at the
intersection of E. Capitol Drive and N. Oakland Ave.

The vigil is being held in connection with the 192-nation climate conference in Copenhagen, organizer Gretchen Mead said in a statement issued Thursday.

According to the National Candle Association (yes, there's a National Candle Association):

A properly-formulated candle, whether scented or unscented, will primarily
produce water vapor and carbon dioxide when burning correctly.

Idiots.

The need to believe

2009-12-07T10:19:00.004-06:00

Something to think about at this time of year, from the film version of Terry Pratchett's Hogfather:

Death: Humans need fantasy to *be* human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.
Susan: With tooth fairies? Hogfathers?
Death: Yes. As practice, you have to start out learning to believe the little lies.
Susan: So we can believe the big ones?
Death: Yes. Justice, mercy, duty. That sort of thing.
Susan: They're not the same at all.
Death: You think so? Then take the universe and grind it down to the finest powder, and sieve it through the finest sieve, and then show me one atom of justice, one molecule of mercy. And yet, you try to act as if there is some ideal order in the world. As if there is some, some rightness in the universe, by which it may be judged.
Susan: But people have got to believe that, or what's the point?
Death: You need to believe in things that aren't true. How else can they become?

How to run a new restaurant the bad way

2009-11-30T15:03:00.003-06:00

1. Don't put anyone at the door to greet diners or show them to their seats. People love walking into a restaurant for the first time, being confused and having to ask around as to whether or not they should just seat themselves.

2. Have your bartender tell diners to sit wherever they'd like even though servers are under the impression that someone is seating them and providing them with menus.

3. Have your servers remain in the kitchen whenever they aren't directly interacting with diners. This assures they will remain blissfully unaware of new customers seating themselves in their section, especially when nobody else working in the restaurant thinks it prudent to let the server know he has a new table. Customers will love the look of surprise on the server's face when he first realizes he has people at a table.

4. If you're out of one of the main ingredients in a dish, don't let the server know this so he can then ask the customer if he or she would like something else. Simply make the dish with the remaining ingredients and serve it to the customer, putting the server in the position of setting a dish in front of a diner and saying, "sorry, but we're out of portabella mushrooms for your portabella mushroom and polenta entree."

5. Warm refried beans are cliche. Why not serve them cold? Even room temperature is too hot. No sense in half-assing failure!

6. It's awfully presumptuous of people to think there's going to be chicken in the chicken taco. Now that they're dining in your establishment you have the opportunity to teach them that life is a harsh bitch full of utter disappointment. But it is not, I repeat, IS NOT, full of chicken.

7. If you're the owner or manager of a restaurant and a diner asks to speak to you, hide! There's no law saying you ever have to interact with the people supporting your business (or, at least, trying to), even if they can see you're hiding behind a corner talking to the server who's desperately trying to get you to come out and pacify the now very upset diners.

Note: The server was tipped even though we walked out without eating the food (much less paying for anything). And I won't name names now because the food actually looked pretty good and I'm willing to give this place a second chance. That's why I wanted to talk to the owner/manager and be convinced I should give it another shot.

Oh, that's rich

2009-11-20T12:22:00.002-06:00

The man who wanted the Village of Shorewood to take over and operate a failed business as a community service wonders why his property taxes never seem to go down.

Not every bow is bad

2009-11-14T17:28:00.003-06:00

Look, bowing the to the Saudi king was not a good idea.

But bowing to the Japanese Emperor has the cultural equivalence of shaking the man's the hand. While in some cultures it may be a sign of subservience, to the Japanese it's just common courtesy.

I think this explains it pretty well, even allowing people to still heap some criticism on Obama simply for the awkwardness in execution.

And for those people complaining that our president shouldn't show common decency to the Japanese emperor because of the history of WWII, need I remind you that we've had a pretty darned good relationship with England, and its leaders, for quite some time now (even if we may bumble the gifts we give them from time to time).

There's more than enough to criticize Obama for. Let's not delegitimize those things with this sort of silliness.

The Packers could probably some organizational shake-up

2009-11-13T08:28:00.002-06:00

But I doubt it's the maintenance crew that most needs it.

"a bunch of gay Hillary guys in Boystown, Chicago were wrong about the Bushes"

2009-11-12T10:17:00.003-06:00

Honestly, I'm not too familiar with the source or the history of their opinions, but this is a must read.

Oh, how we RAILED against Bush in 2000…and how we RAILED against the surge
in support Bush received post-9/11 when he went to Ground Zero and stood there
with his bullhorn in the ruins on that hideous day.

We were convinced that ANYONE who was president would have done what
Bush did, and would have set that right tone of leadership in the wake of that
disaster. President Gore, President Perot, President Nader, you name
it. ANYONE, we assumed, would have filled that role perfectly.

Well, we told you before how much the current president, Dr. Utopia,
made us realize just how wrong we were about Bush. We shudder to think
what Dr. Utopia would have done post-9/11. He would have not gone there
with a bullhorn and struck that right tone. More likely than not, he would
have been his usual fey, apologetic self and waxed professorially about how evil
America is and how justified Muslims are for attacking us, with a sidebar on how
good the attacks were because they would humble us.

UPDATED: Open Book...

2009-11-11T13:00:00.001-06:00

...should have stayed closed.

UPDATE: Allow me to amend that. It should have stayed closed until the folks behind it were able to open it without financing from the Village of Shorewood. Because if you want to read a book you can't afford to buy on your own, there's always the library.

AND ANOTHER: A reader (yes, I do have a few) who's been following this story since Schwartz's demise and the first mention of re-opening it either as a Shorewood village service or a co-op e-mailed to make an interesting observation: Corporate executives are often criticized because they stand to gain a lot while at the same time having very little stake in whether the business succeeds or fails. Were it not for Keith Schmitz's involvement with Open Book, I'm not sure the observation would necessarily be apt. But since he's playing a major role and has a history of criticizing big business and capitalism alike, I think it's fair game. Considering he's Open Book's board chair and the sweetheart loan it received from the Village (zero interest for four(?) years), Schmitz accepted a government bail-out before the store's doors even opened.

So why does any of this matter to me? Well, for starters, I'm a Shorewood resident, and I was a huge fan of Schwartz when it was around. I'm one of those people who would sit there sipping coffee and taking advantage of the Wi-Fi on a regular basis (but unlike many of those folks, rarely, if ever, did I walk out of there without buying a book). I was disappointed when I heard they were closing, but also accepted the fact that with 80+ years in the business they were making the right call. If the market demanded the void be filled, it would happen. And that's what troubled me so much when I started hearing rumblings the the Village should take over the space and keep the store open as a government service. But when the idea of a co-op popped up, I even considered joining it myself, particularly when someone I know who is deeply involved with Open Book assured me that government funding wasn't going to come into play.

We all know how that turned out. And if it weren't for that loan, I probably wouldn't give two farts about the whole thing. In fact, like I said above, I'd probably even be a member.

Now I just have a bad taste in my mouth over the whole thing. During a recession the Village of Shorewood loaned money to esentially keep a business going that just failed! Hundreds of folks have (quite naively, I think) paid membership dues that could have instead been spent at any of the many other Shorewood businesses, thus helping the local economy. (Think about that one, Shorewood business owners. So far Open Book has raised nearly $70,000 from people to "save" a business that probably didn't need saving. That's money that won't be spent with you.) And if they still wanted a place to read or a community gathering place, let's not forget Shorewood's beautiful and expensive library (with a huge meeting area in its basement) or even Boswell, a mere two miles away!

In all honesty, though, I do hope Open Book doesn't fail. How else will Shorewood get back its 35 grand? But I simply don't see myself ever setting foot in there. The entire operation is based on a premise I can't support and Keith Schmitz is, well, Keith Schmitz (if you know what I mean, you know what I mean).

Besides, as my beautiful partner in crime said to me just this morning, "we're a Boswell family."

Do you listen to what you're saying?

2009-11-11T12:04:00.002-06:00

"Every day in society someone's being killed. Unfortunately, America loves
guns. We love guns to a point that we see the devastation on a daily
basis," [Chicago Mayor Richard Daley] said. "You don't blame a group. You
don't blame a society, immigrant community because of actions of one group, one
individual -- you cannot say that."

So, "you don't blame a group" for the "actions of one group?"

And if you're not going to blame a group for the actions of an individual, how about starting with not blaming gun owners or people practicing their 2nd Amendment rights?

Sheesh...they'll let any dumbass into politics, won't they?

Dipshit(s)

2009-11-09T07:33:00.000-06:00

On the side of Sendik's on Downer.

Membership has its privileges

2009-11-04T08:52:00.004-06:00

You could buy this set of snowman lantern ornaments from LTD Commodities for $6.95.

Or, you could have the privilege of spending nearly 3 times that (4 times if you aren't a member) by buying it from the Smithsonian Store.

Of course, that extra money does allow you to say in your best Thurston Howell voice "mmmmmm...yes, these are from the Smithsonian."

In which I predict the future

2009-10-26T12:16:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I scare myself.

Just over a year ago, I wrote:

My prediction is the next big thing (since ultimately nobody will learn from
the lessons of today and we're a country just dying to invest in something) will
be small-business loans. Someone will get the idea in their head that while
lending to home borrowers with the hope of the property value increasing was a
bad idea, lending to people who want to start up businesses with the stated goal
of making money will be a much better idea. And while the intent will be noble
at first, particularly in an economy coming out of a recession and people
looking for new job creation, it will become so perverted by special interests
that eventually lenders will find themselves giving money to unqualified people
with hair-brained business schemes that don't have a chance of turning a profit,
much less paying back the money.

And from Reuters this past Saturday:

President Barack Obama urged banks on Saturday to make more loans to
small businesses and said his administration would do everything it can to push
them to do so...

..."These are the very taxpayers who stood by America's banks in a
crisis -- and now it's time for our banks to stand by credit-worthy small
businesses, and make the loans they need to open their doors, grow their
operations, and create new jobs," [President Obama] said.

Like housing, "credit-worthy" is going to turn out to be a very subjective term, and banks are bound to find themselves lending money where it shouldn't be lent. Although my initial prediction was that lenders would be the first behind this initiative with special interests getting involved at a later point and encouraging the bad lending, that this is first coming from the Obama administration, a special interest if there ever was one, is downright frightening.

Predict the next target...er...destination

2009-10-21T08:47:00.002-05:00

Courtesy of this bus sign generator, something I think will see more and more use as time goes by.

Maybe the pants just don't look good on you

2009-10-15T08:54:00.002-05:00

Eugene Kane suspects a local nightclub's dress code is designed to keep out African-Americans.

Coincidentally enough, pictures from this particular club are regularlry featured on The Milwaukee Scene.

Take a look at some of the galleries featuring Decibel here, here, here and here. Frankly, I'm not convinced race is as much a factor in admittance as is style.

Left-Wing Loon Loses It On Obama

2009-10-09T09:23:00.003-05:00

And compares him to a slightly schizophrenic, cross-dressing rodent.

Somehow I doubt this would be as fun

2009-10-07T08:47:00.002-05:00

But it would be fair.

This version of the game also includes 200 "Get out of jail free" cards with pictures of Bill Ayers.

From Cracked.

A sausage and cheese basket might have been more appreciated

2009-10-06T11:45:00.002-05:00

After all, they probably already have their own lab coats!

It's too hard

2009-10-04T22:53:00.000-05:00

Sense of Events: The Mae West presidency: The sad thing about this is that, in response, you'll have people saying things like "well, it's better to have a president that doesn't do anything than someone like Bush."

Let's make some meaningful changes to MCTS.

2009-09-30T19:15:00.039-05:00

Jason Haas, writing for Milwaukee County First, claims that using Milwaukee County Transit System's buses provides the proof one needs to see the system needs improvement. If that's the case, consider me an expert on the evidence, since I've been using MCTS for nearly 20 years. And while I agree with Haas that it does need improvement, I don't believe it's necessarily of the sort he's suggesting.

Haas cites a flickering "Stop Requested" sign as one piece of evidence that what the system needs in order to improve is new buses. Now that's like sending your car off to the junkyard because the dome light went out. He further illustrates his point by sharing two instances where the bus broke down and riders needed to wait for a replacement bus to arrive. Even considering that I myself have experienced this and understand the frustration, examining and improving the system's existing maintenance program seems a more prudent response when compared to simply replacing buses.

Is MCTS in need of some...some...new buses? Probably. Will a new fleet, or even half a new fleet, be the panacea that improves quality of service and increases ridership? Probably not.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: For MCTS to be truly successful, it must appeal to those who have a choice when it comes to utilizing the service and not just those people for whom riding the bus is their only option. Ten-thousand new buses gilded in gold will do nothing to fix the problems if the existing system is not more effectively managed and utilized. Here are some ways to start:

Manage the drivers

Not to degrade the drivers or what they do, I have to assume that their job descriptions involve more than staring at the road, driving in a circle and coming to occasional stops (if not, there's a problem that needs fixing ASAP). This isn't to say all, or even most, of the drivers are incompetent when it comes to doing their jobs. In fact, I've encountered quite a few who pleasantly greet riders, patiently wait for some who aren't at the stop when the bus arrives or accommodate any number of special rider needs. But for every one of those, there's another driver who won't even slow down and just drive by designated stops as riders wait, whose first response to an inquiry as to why a bus is 45 minutes late is either to stare blankly at the passenger or become defensive and argumentative, ignore absolutely everything taking place outside the confines of the driver's "cockpit" or are either incapable or indifferent to handling an extremely large vehicle. To put it bluntly, quality assurance on drivers is miserable, and if not entirely absent, at least inconsistently applied.

Drivers should be expected, and empowered, to play a role similar to that of a store manager, ensuring customer satisfaction in every way possible. This means they not only take an all-encompassing approach to driving the bus and seeing to immediate passenger needs, but also be proactive when it comes to taking steps to improve the system and provide feedback to management when issues are recognized. As such, both drivers and MCTS need to have the appropriate tools and processes in place so that when problems are identified they are also resolved. Constant and vigilant quality control measures on behalf of MCTS supervisors (beyond that necessary to facilitate performance reviews, which I suspect constitutes a bulk of existing QA) is invaluable and should have a minimal cost impact. And when the rider/customer provides feedback, it should be taken seriously and action should be immediate. I've contacted the customer feedback line on various occasions only to either be hung up on or see no results. If MCTS management isn't taking the service it provides and the feedback it receives seriously, why should its drivers?

Manage the passengers

Based on my last point, it might seem as if I feel all the ills of MCTS rest squarely in the hands of bad operators or inattentive management. The truth is, though, that my years of observations lead me to believe that one of the biggest problems facing the system are some of the riders themselves.

If you ever want a lesson in how absolutely inconsiderate or downright oblivious your fellow human beings are capable of being, get on the bus. The concept of "giving up your seat" for the handicapped or elderly is lost on a distressingly large amount of passengers, young and old alike. A friend of mine once made the observation that people in Milwaukee, unlike those in larger cities like New York or Chicago, are nearly hopeless when it comes to handling themselves in a crowd, and is this ever evident when watching bus passengers. For whatever reason, far too many riders refuse to share their seats with other riders (by either not spreading out across an entire seat or simply carrying their bags in their laps). Moving towards the back of the bus to allow more riders on seems as alien an idea as does not standing right next to the driver (in spite of numerous open seats) and blocking access for those wishing to either get on or off.

iPods with the volume up to 11 and the headphone not in your ears. Using the speaker option on your cell phone to loudly argue with your boyfriend for twenty minutes. Carrying three smelly, dripping bags of empty cans onto the bus for a trip to the recycling center. Begging other passengers for money. Holding loud conversations using language that would make a drunken sailor blush. These are all things I've seen more than once, and in each and every case, it was other passengers that took action. Often it's passengers either moving to another part of the bus or getting off a few stops early (you ride the bus enough you get to know faces and stops, and recognize the frustration they're exhibiting when they've had enough and just get off). A middle-aged man admonished three teens for pushing their way in front of an elderly woman to board, actually forcing them to apologize. The woman who loudly argued with her boyfriend her cell phone was asked by another passenger to "shut the f*** up." Just last night, when the back of the bus offered plenty of standing room but passengers refused to move there, thus making it impossible for more passengers to board, it was me who had to loudly yell out for people to please move back. Once, when an elderly man could barely keep his grip while standing on a bus where a number of young people sat in designated seating, the driver yelled out that the bus wasn't going anywhere until someone gave him their seat.

Once. In almost twenty years, once.

And that's the problem. Riders should not be expected to be the ones to deal with unruly passengers. A few years back there was a highly publicized incident where a restaurant owner put up a sign in his establishment asking parents to "manage" their out-of-control children or they would be asked to leave. Some folks were offended by this, but many more applauded him. His justification was that his customers shouldn't have to be responsible for dealing with having their dining experience ruined by complaining directly to the parents, which had happened more than once. In his opinion it was his business, and therefore his job to make sure that if one customer was ruining it for others, he would have to take care of it.

Bus drivers must be the first line of defense against rude and rowdy passengers. It's their job. If a particular route is rife with problems, MCTS should assign an additional employee, security officer or even a sheriff (depending on severity) to monitor and quell the issue. Problem passengers should be removed from the bus and warned they will be banned from using the system if they prove to be a frequent enough difficulty. Imagine the beauty of a policy stating "MCTS reserves the right to refuse service if you infringe upon the rights of other passengers."

But I know that a driver's attention can't possibly be focused on what's taking place behind him or her at all times. I also recognize that much of what I stated above is reactive, often responding to a problem after it occurs. So how does MCTS encourage riders to be considerate passengers and abide by, perhaps unspoken, rules?

Well, speak them!

Many MCTS buses are equipped with now-blank televisions and systems from the defunct Transit TV network. Almost every bus has some sort of intercom system. With a relatively small investment into technology and production, riders could periodically hear a message something like...

"Welcome to the Milwaukee County Transit System. If taking a seat, please move towards the window to allow other passengers to sit as well. If standing, please move towards the back of the bus to allow other passengers easy access when getting on and off the bus. For the convenience of our disabled and elderly passengers, please leave those seats in the handicapped section available for their use. We hope you enjoy your ride, and thank you for helping us make riding the bus a pleasant experience for you and other passengers."

"Oh, but Dave," you might say, "you're just an old curmudgeon who probably doesn't like people and yells at kids to stay off the lawn." And you just might be right. But that doesn't change the fact that much of the behavior I've outlined above not only negatively impacts the reputation of MCTS (even if it's not directly their fault) but also actively discourages ridership among those who have a choice. The system needs as many unsubsidized or full-fare passengers as possible to be a true success, so every effort should be made to lure these riders on the bus.

Manage the routes
I have a bus pass. I can quickly name at least 20 people I know who do as well. I'd estimate that at the very least fifty percent of the people I ride the bus with use some sort of pass because rarely do I see anyone using cash anymore. So how does MCTS know which routes I use? How often do I use the system? Without actual fares going into the machine at the front of the bus, how in the world does MCTS accurately know who's riding a bus when and where?

Let's expand on this. When a disabled rider on a motorized scooter gets on the bus, requiring two seats to be folded up, is this tracked? When a mother with a large stroller pays one fare, how does MCTS account for the fact that she's actually taking up the space of up to three passengers? If someone utilizes the new bike carriers but takes exceptionally long in doing so, is this noted? If for some reason a single stop sees in influx in the number of riders, say, going from three on an average day to fifteen, is this information flowing back up the MCTS chain of command?

Now let's take a look at the map to the right. Those red dots indicate stops northbound route 15 makes on Water St. in downtown Milwaukee. In just under six blocks there are five stops. The northernmost stop is less than a block from the previous stop. It takes me less than five minutes to walk from the southernmost to the northernmost stop. If I were to expand this map either north or south, you'd find even more stops within a relatively short distance.

What this small example leads me to believe is that someone, somewhere, within MCTS thinks that adding more stops plays an extraordinary role in route management. In combination with all my other questions, it also leaves me thinking that MCTS management is far too dependent on aggregates and ignorant of the details when it comes to allocating resources, resulting in them thinking that more is simply better and some people coming to the then obvious (albeit wrong) conclusion that new and more buses will solve all the problems.

But the truth is that if MCTS is using a variety of estimates based on number of passes sold, paid fares, occasional ridership surveys (never seen one of those in twenty years, either) and other high-level guesstimates as the primary, if not sole, tools in determining resource allocation, then it isn't seeing the forest for the trees.

MCTS needs to implement an ongoing process of data collection providing it with an accurate and up-to-date picture of actual usage. Even if budget constraints or the current economy weren't an issue, using dubiously sourced data to manage the system rises to the level of incompetence. Drivers must monitor and MCTS must analyze who is riding the bus when and where at all times in an effort to fully meet riders' needs. Every person who steps on a bus should be tracked. Exceptional situations involving wheelchairs or strollers should be noted. Delays should be taken into consideration. As GI Joe would say, knowing is half the battle.

Some pre-emptive responses to arguments

But this will still cost money!

Nowhere above did I say it wouldn't. But I do believe that much of this could be implemented within the existing budget, and certainly at a cost far less and with greater benefit than simply buying new buses or expanding routes. More of a bad thing is never a good solution. And I also acknowledge that the system may very well need new buses, but nobody should think for a moment that will solve all of MCTS's problems.

Bus drivers aren't paid enough to do what I'm asking them to do!

Oh really? Apparently being an MCTS driver has the potential of being pretty lucrative. But even then, some of these out-of-control salaries are the result of internal mismanagement. That just goes to show that maybe the people currently in charge aren't the best at managing the system they already have, and certainly shouldn't be expected to make meaningful changes and improvements. Regardless, even the average driver salary should be enough to justify them making the efforts necessary to to ensure a successful transit system.

It's all Scott Walker's fault!!!!!!!111!!!!!!

Oh jeez. Fine. Maybe it is. But if you really think Walker is responsible for the day-to-day operations of MCTS, then you need some lessons in organizational management. Now, I will concede that he should be scrutinizing the existing management staff and determine if changes need to be made or objectives re-prioritized. However, you can't just sit around focusing all your attention on this one man and expect the world to change once he's out of office. And let's not forget that, if I hadn't made it clear by now, the problems I've outlined I've witnessed for nearly two decades, and they certainly pre-date Walker.

The time has come to seriously try and fix MCTS with real solutions. Let's stop chasing our tails and worrying about placing politically motivated blame and get things done!

For the record...

2009-09-30T17:41:00.003-05:00

...when you defend a man who drugged and raped a 13 year old girl, you pretty much give up your moral authority just about everything.

I'm looking in your direction, Hollywood.

Things you shouldn't spend your money or time on

2009-09-29T09:56:00.003-05:00

I've often been torn over whether or not to support actors and directors who brazenly express opinions with which I vehemently disagree. On one hand, I don't want to validate them financially by paying to see their movies, which is admittedly an action I'd take just for the principle and unlikely to affect any change. On the other hand, they're entitled to their opinions, and once I go down that path there's a good chance I'd never watch television, see a movie, read or book or listen to a song again.

But now there's a case where I don't have to think twice about it. Rape is bad. Rape of a child is worse. Publicly defending a rapist for whatever reason (unless you're his attorney, in which case it's your duty) is equally disgusting. That said, I strongly encourage anyone who's outraged over Roman Polanski walking free for all these years or those in Hollywood defending him to stop wasting their time by supporting their products. Those include, but are not limited to:

-Anything involving Roman Polanski(obviously)
-Anything by Harvey Weinstein
-Anything by Mike Medavoy
-Anything to do with Mark Urman of
Paladin films.

That's just a short list. Big Hollywood offers something a little more comprehensive.

UPDATE: Let's add Whoopi "it wasn't rape-rape" Goldberg to the list.

Stop. Please, just stop.

2009-09-24T13:26:00.003-05:00

So now there's a congressional hearing on the future of newspapers.

Can we please just stop?

Can people just get it out of their heads that it's the government's job to to fix everything?

Whenever someone complains about the weather, I jokingly say "you should write your congressman!" If I've had one-too-many Salty Dogs and trip over a throw rug, I remark about how my alderman will be hearing about it.

But those are just jokes, hopefully evident in the fact that no congressman can do a thing about a rainy day or that a combination of alcohol and inconveniently placed floor decor fall outside my local council member's authority. And I would hope that anyone hearing me utter either of those phrases would see them for the jokes they are. Only, I fear far too many people take the concepts just a bit too seriously.

The government simply has no business bailing out newspapers. Nor should it be a knight in shining armor for banks or auto manufacturers, either. Government shouldn't be funding the arts. It shouldn't be telling ANYONE who is or isn't married. And it sure as hell needs to keep its nose out of health care.

My objection to government backed health care reform is pretty simple: it's not the government's job. It's philosophical, you see. I don't care how many pretty charts you show me demonstrating it will work or it won't. I don't care what the cost savings will be. All the cases for or against it are nothing more than intellectual masturbation. It's simply not within the mandate of the federal government to reform health care, health insurance, health availability or whatever else you want to call it.

It just needs to stop.

I'm reminded of a woman that used to work for me. She had a real hard time meeting the basic requirements outlined for her job. Rather than working on those, she started creating new responsibilities that she magically excelled at. It looked good, but the tasks for which she was originally hired were still suffering. When I asked her to focus on her primary job, she claimed to be overwhelemed, and eventually quit because she couldn't handle the stress.

Our federal government can barely manage those basic responsibilities granted to it by the Constitution. The last thing it needs is to be adding on anything else. Unlike my former employee, I doubt the goverment will even be able to excel at those. All I can hope for is that the stress will get to be too much and it'll just quit, too.

The nerdiest, ugliest people...

2009-09-21T18:36:00.003-05:00

A big congratulations to one Mr. Dan Harmon (a good friend from high school who I've only kept in contact with thanks to Facebook) on his Emmy. He's also the creator and writer of the new NBC/Chevy Chase comedy Community!

Milwaukee Tea Party - 09/19/2009 - Part 1

2009-09-19T17:38:00.015-05:00

The crowd at around 2:30. I wish someone would just chop down those damn trees so I could get better pictures!

Anyone care to guess who these two gentlemen are?

Joe the Plumber

Michelle Malkin

County Executive Scott Walker

Lots of signs countering claims that Tea Partiers are racist.

Harry Reid ("Harry"), President Obama ("Barry") and Nancy Pelose ("Scary").

Below them, the original Three Stooges saying "We couldn't even act that stupid."

Joe the Plumber speaking.

It irks me that the government has given pork such a bad name. At least people aren't specifying bacon!

Part II is below!

Milwaukee Tea Party - 09/19/2009 - Part 2

2009-09-19T17:28:00.012-05:00

I don't necessarily get this one, but my first impression was that it had to do with US support for Israel. I would assume it's a counter-protester...so there's that racism people seem to be looking for.

One of the few counter-protestors present. All the news folks wanted to interview him...and a lot of people were taking pictures of the interviews.

I had to take a picture of this one just so I could read it later!

The beauty of free speech

2009-09-17T22:15:00.002-05:00

Tonight on the UWM campus I saw a guy hold a large sign claiming "Homosexuality is a Sin."

Standing next to him was a guy (in a bathrobe, for some reason) with a sign saying "Fuck This Guy."

Beautiful.

Question for the savvy food shopper

2009-09-17T08:40:00.002-05:00

The other day I was at the grocery store eyeing up turkeys, geese and ducks, trying to find something interesting to make for dinner. But as I was pawing through the cooler, I noticed that very few of the birds were actually frozen. Some of them seemed entirely thawed.

Is this normal? Every bird I've ever purchased has been frozen like a rock and required days of thawing. And a return visit to the store found the birds in the same condition, making me think that they'd been sitting there unfrozen for at least a couple of days. I should also add that the overall quality of the store has gone downhill as of late, so I do have some concerns about buying meat there, and if there's a potential of it ultimately getting me and the family sick.

Any input is greatly appreciated.

Jar full of jellybeans, but number debate continues

2009-09-15T11:23:00.003-05:00

This past Saturday, McGinn's Pharmacy ran a promotion asking customers to guess the number of jellybeans in a jar. Little did Rick McGinn, owner and pharmacist, expect so much controversy.

The jar, about the size of a gallon milk jug, sits next to the register. Tammy Steward, Rick McGinn's granddaughter who works at the pharmacy after school and on weekends, is usually at the register taking people's guesses.

"The guesses are all over the place," says Tammy. "Some people are guessing 70, which is just ridiculous, while others claim there are nearly two million. That's just as silly."

McGinn doesn't expect anyone will hit the exact number of jellybeans, but he is surprised over the debate that takes place.

"Two guys got into some real name-calling the other day," claims McGinn as he stands over a Cheetos folding chair, the promotion's prize for the closest guess. "One of them said there was no way there could be more than two hundred jellybeans because he always has jellybeans in a dish at his house and apparently keeps close tabs on it. I honestly don't know who this guy was. I've never seen him before. All I know is he got off a bus, came in and started shouting about how so few jellybeans weren't worth a Cheetos chair. The guy was nuts."

This apparently made a regular McGinn's customer, who Rick doesn't want to name, quite upset. When the customer asked the first man to calm down, he was called a "beaner," a typically racially derogatory term for Mexicans co-opted by those who think the jellybean promotion is a "sham." McGinn is all-too-familiar with those folks.

"Some other local knucklehead has taken to going on the internet and calling me and anyone who might be over-guessing the number of jellybeans "beaners." Not only that, for some reason he thinks the whole thing is racist. My granddaughter thinks he was in here the other day trying to sneak black jellybeans into the jar. Seriously? I just opened some bags of Brachs and poured them in!"

Such attention to the promotion isn't limited to just those who seem to be against it or are in the group of people low balling the count. One customer who thinks the promotion is great is commissioning a satellite fly-over to get an accurate picture of the jar.

"He's just as nuts," says McGinn. "I keep telling him the jar is inside on the first floor of a three-story building. But he says this is the only way to settle the debate."

Of course, this is one other way. McGinn could just let people know the exact amount. But that has its problems, too.

"A few years ago I did the same thing with candy corn around Halloween. After all the guesses were in and I announced the winner (the person with the closest guess), I said exactly how many kernels were in the jar. People didn't like hearing the truth. So now I just tell people who won but don't give out any numbers."

McGinn looks at the jar and shakes his head.

"You'd think that I've got this promotion is enough. I can't figure out why everyone has to nitpick. Some people just have to be jerks, I guess."

Blegging for a good cause (and a chance for you to win!)

2009-09-10T09:51:00.010-05:00

Fellow Bloggers! If you could take a moment to direct any readers of your blogs to this post (since I don't have a lot of my own) and offer them an opportunity to make a donation and get a chance at the Lagniappe gift certificate, that would be greatly appreciated.

__________________________________________

In the mid-90s my grandfather passed away after his battle with Lymphoma. At the time, his case was so baffling to doctors it was actually a topic of discussion at medical conferences.

10 years later my step-father was also diagnosed with Lymphoma. But a recent stem-cell transplant has left him cancer-free. The advances in medical science have been great, and are in no small part thanks to the efforts of organizations like the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

My family and I will be walking in this year's Light the Night Walk to raise funds for all the great things The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society does. So I'm reaching out to everyone and anyone to make a pledge towards this worthwhile cause.

While any amount helps and is greatly appreciated, the owners of Lagniappe Brasserie in New Berlin, WI, considered one of Milwaukee's Top 30 Restaurants by the late Dennis Getto, graciously donated a $50 gift certificate towards my fundraising efforts. For every $5 you donate, you'll get a chance at winning this gift certificate towards a great meal at this fantastic restaurant! And since this drawing is restricted only to donors to my team, your odds of winning are pretty good!

You can go here to make your pledge online. Thanks ahead of time for any support you can give!

The stimulus couldn't help them

2009-09-09T19:34:00.007-05:00

So being a spokesman for their moving sale was the least the President could do.

Spotted in Salem, WI, where it seems everyone is moving.

Someone better get a lawyer

2009-09-09T13:57:00.002-05:00

Especially if he's planning on visiting Florida.

...in Florida, the word cracker when used as a racial epithet is a violation under the Florida Hate Crimes Act.

Can anyone spot the hater?

Density

2009-09-09T12:50:00.001-05:00

Funny, I would have thought you two were made for one another.

From It Was Over When.

My one question on President Obama's speech to students

2009-09-08T10:28:00.003-05:00

JK Rowling’s first Harry Potter book was rejected twelve times before it was
finally published. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team,
and he lost hundreds of games and missed thousands of shots during his career.

Do younger kids even know who Michael Jordan is anymore?

Dck-a-Dck

2009-09-04T12:48:00.005-05:00

NOTE: I'm really really really really trying to get back into blogging, but would prefer to do so without focusing solely, or even to any great level, on current events or politics. It really is much nicer that way. But after reading the below-referenced blogger, I wanted to get something out of the way that's been bugging me for a while.

*********************************************************

Sometimes you've just got to call a duck a duck. But in this case I want to replace each "u" with an "i."

Yep...I think Lester Schultz, blogger for BaysideNOW, is a dick.

Why? Why would I so cavalierly refer to someone I've never met as a dick?

For starters, how about a statement like...

For many years the conservative elements in the U.S. have been telling
people of color to "pull yourself up by your bootstraps." That was a
comfortable way of keeping these people in bondage.

How could I have been so naive to think that advocating for self-reliance and responsibility is merely nothing more than another way for the man to keep everyone else down? I don't know if I should feel stupid for not recognizing this earlier or upset that I never knew I was such a bigot! "But wait, David," you might say, "he didn't actually call you a bigot."

Well, not right there he didn't. Of course, he wasn't done yet...

He [Obama] becomes the first person of color to be elected President of the
United States. How's that for being special? Now what do the bigots
do that wanted to limit him, prove his inferiority by placing immense
hurdles in front of him?

And...

...bigotry finds like-minded people and when the people are not of like
mind, power can be used to dupe them. And conservatives certainly have the
power and the money.

My goodness, Mr. Schultz...I mean...dick...how silly of me to think that I could hold viewpoints incongruous with either the President's or yours and that they not be, in fact, signs of my deeply seeded narrow-mindedness, intolerance and prejudice. I can only take solace in the fact that you haven't compared me to a Nazi!

Oh...

I'm reminded of extreme right-winger, Adolf Hitler, smugly perched high up
at Olympic stadium to watch his white athletes, who have been given nothing but
the best to train, beat the "negrified" nations like the United States.
Jesse Owens forced Herr Hitler to leave the stadium.

You see, dick, I'm sick and tired of people like you automatically assuming that my beliefs and opinions are rooted in bigotry, racism, sexism, homophobia or whatever other reprehensible accusation you want to use to describe people with whom you disagree. The fact of the matter is that you don't know how to play nice, and would much rather spend your time leveling allegations you know make people look like some of the most disgusting individuals on the face of this planet than discuss the actual issues. And that you think you can take some of the most perverse traits of humanity and ascribe them to a person simply because he or she doesn't share your opinions makes you a dick.

Finally, you twice refer to President Obama's altruism in your dicknitude-revealing little essay. Well, dick, meet Nick. This might make you realize that people have very honest and compelling reasons for not necessarily being happy with every single action our President takes. Reasons that have nothing to do with the color of his skin, but everything to do with the content of his character.

Take it to heart. It might make you less of a dick.

Real life can be so disappointing

2009-09-04T09:32:00.003-05:00

That's why I spend a good majority of my time in a dry-erase marker induced haze. Colors are brighter, birdsong is prettier and food looks better.

There's no amount of mercy in the world...

2009-09-03T11:53:00.002-05:00

...that would prevent me from turning the remainder of this man's life into a daily routine of feeding tubes, colostomy bags and near-pointless physical therapy if he ever did this to my daughter.

Stranger accused of slapping crying child at store
The Associated Press

Police say a 61-year-old man annoyed with a crying
2-year-old girl at a suburban Atlanta Walmart slapped the child several times
after warning the toddler's mother to keep her quiet.

A police report says after the stranger hit the girl at least four
times, he said: "See, I told you I would shut her up."

Roger Stephens of Stone Mountain is charged with felony cruelty to
children. It was unclear if he had an attorney and a telephone call to his home
Wednesday was unanswered.

Authorities say the girl and her mother were shopping Monday when the
toddler began crying. The police report says Stephens approached the mother and
said, "If you don't shut that baby up, I will shut her up for you."

Authorities say Stephens then grabbed the 2-year-old and slapped her.
The child began screaming and Stephens was arrested. Police say an examination
showed the girl's face was slightly red.

A call to the girl's mother, identified in the police report as Sonya
Mathews of Grayson, was answered by a woman who identified herself as Sabrina
Mathis, the victim's aunt.

Mathis said Wednesday that the girl is doing fine.

"As of today, she has really forgotten about it," Mathis said. "She's
been playing."

Mathis said the girl's mother was shaken up over the incident.

"She's as well as to be expected," Mathis said. "Right now she's just
trying to calm down."

Huh?

2009-09-03T09:54:00.001-05:00

Competition and profit.
By Joe Mangiamele
Sept. 3, 2009 7:52
a.m.

It should be obvious to most thinking people
that it is easier and much cheaper to make war than to keep people well. It's
more honorable for government to conduct war than to maintain the health of the
American people.

So let's keep engaging in wars as most empires
have, until we are all worn out. Many of us have seen the destruction of war in
other countries and what it has done to many of our men and women.

Although football and other sports extend our war-like natures,
I'd prefer interest in sports than in war.

Competition and profit
are the religious terms of those who believe mainly in profit and not real
competition and this money religion is in opposition to government, government
which to them is created by the devil and not the constitution, example, the
crazies in Texas.

Most established industrial countries of the
world can afford health care because they are not preparing for war nor engaged
in war. For Americans, it seems war is cheaper and better than health care.
Profit and competition are the sacred attributes of our society and let's not
forget war as well.

Some of us are those lucky Americans who have
a good health program and who believe in competition and profit, but we ask ,who
will take care of those who are not able to compete and to make profit?

Link here.

I'm expressly happy

2009-09-03T09:42:00.002-05:00

I've never been a fan of baseball. It's painfully boring to watch and the fact that a batter's success is measured by a number smaller than one has always confused me. (I'm not sure why, but I seem to really enjoy movies about baseball and don't mind listening to a game on the radio, even though I haven't done so much since the Brewers made it to the World Series in '82.)

So I was pretty happy to hear that I won't have to listen to any of my friends recap anything about a any game at all anymore since it would appear that the MLB isn't being too cooperative when offering up their "expressed written consent" for that.

Thank goodness for small wonders.

"Birfers"

2009-07-30T13:39:00.004-05:00

For the record, I think the "birthers" out there are crazy bunch. End of that.

But something about referring to them as "birfers" kept bugging me.

Then I realized what it was.

Using the f sound in place of the soft th sound in spoken English is characteristic of African-American Vernacular English (AAVE).

Are people using the "birfer" term mocking African-Americans?

Are they subconsciously racist?

I anticipate back-bending and apologies are forthcoming.

Bob, Bill, Lou and Little White Lies

2009-03-26T10:09:00.003-05:00

Bob Borrower wants to buy a house and needs a loan. Enter Bill Broker. When Bill reviews Bob's application, he finds that Bob doesn't make enough money and that Lou Lender won't finance the loan. But Bill knows that Lou has a loan program where, for a slightly higher interest rate, Bob can "state" his income rather than providing documentation to support it. So Bob, with Bill's encouragement, "states" that he makes $2000 a month rather than $1500. Bill submits the application to Lou, Lou agrees to finance the loan, and Bob gets his new house.

Six months later Bob is behind in his mortgage payments. This is a surprise to Lou Lender because all of his analytics tell him that with the income Bob claimed to have there's no reason he couldn't afford the house. And now it turns out that twenty loans Lou financed for Bill Broker have gone into default. After a little research, Lou finds out that in each case Bill knew that the borrowers, including Bob, didn't really make as much as they "stated."

That's called misrepresentation, which is really just a friendly was of saying fraud. Sure, Bill Broker wasn't committing identity theft, falsifying appraisals or pocketing money from loans where a borrower never even existed. In fact, what he did might just be considered a well-intentioned little white lie when compared to all the unscrupulous things he could have done. But the fact remains that Lou Lender entrusted Bill Broker with diligently providing accurate information when taking a loan application, and now Lou is left holding the bag on about $4 million in defaulted loans.

"Little white lies" can turn into big problems. That's one reason to make sure you only deal with folks who demonstrate they're tremendously unlikely to commit them. It's also why it's best to make sure Bill Broker isn't a felon. After all, what's a little white lie to him?

Money Making Opportunity

2009-03-03T08:31:00.003-06:00

While I personally qualify as a "Posse," I'm almost certain I've known someone like "Garlic" and could arrange for him to attend.

This is the type of male escort service I could really get into.

Like the foul stench of a dead hamster

2009-02-19T11:25:00.004-06:00

Like the foul stench of a hamster that crawled into the wallboards and died months ago, sometimes even the worst of ideas just don't seem go away.

Shortly after Harry W. Schwartz announced it would be going out of business after 80+ years, ShorewoodNOW blogger Joe Mangiamelle began incessantly proposing that someone (at first, the Village of Shorewood, but eventually anyone) take over the Shorewood location. Now another ShorewoodNOW blogger, Dave Tatarowicz, has taken a more proactive step in seeing to it that the bookstore remains.

I happen to love Harry W. Schwartz, and was disappointed to learn their stores would be closing. I've always made a point of shopping there as opposed to the bigger book sellers, like that a portion of every purhase I make is contributed to a literacy program and am always impressed by the level of customer service provided. For the most part, I think my appreciation for the retailer comes from the fact that it is run by professionals who truly understand the business of selling books. And so when they decide that after nearly a century of being in business that the market simply is unable to sustain it any longer, I tend to defer to their opinion. This is what confounds me about the Mangiamelle/Tatorowicz proposal.

While Tatorowicz has taken an admittedly more realistic approach to saving the store than Mangiamelle originally did by suggesting a co-op supported by donations from various private contributors as opposed to a government-backed service, it still concerns me that he would propose the use of BID dollars to achieve his goal. During a recession, the last thing we need is government investing money into an operation that has proven itself unsustainable.

As an aside, I'd like to point out to Mangiamelle that of all the praises he sings about Schwartz, be it the community space it offers, a place to drink coffee or get free entertainment, he sure doesn't have much to say about the fact that they also sell books. Maybe if more of the people who lounged around the seating area reading their newspapers and visiting with neighbors spent a few more dollars on the products Schwartz was there to offer in the first place, sustainability wouldn't be an issue.

Finally, everyone lamenting the closing of Schwartz's Shorewood location seems to be ignoring the fact that it will be replaced with an improved Pick 'n Save. I can speak from experience that the existing Pick 'n Save is, to be generous, sub-par. The facility is old and cramped. Parking is horrible. And it's Shorewood's only large grocery store. I've given up going there, but would certainly love to have the convenience of shopping in my own neighborhood at an improved store rather than driving several miles to a better grocery store.

But then, what's more important? Books, or food?

So who, exactly...

2009-02-11T20:25:00.001-06:00

...is gung-ho about this stimulus thing?

I'm all for the executive pay cap...

2009-02-06T18:10:00.001-06:00

...just so long as it sets a precedent for everyone who depends on taxpayer dollars to function day-to-day.

On Top of Things

2009-02-03T14:50:00.003-06:00

So I've just got to ask: Is there one guy at We Energies whose only job is updating the sign showing how much time has passed since the last accident?

Because whoever he is, man, he's fast.

Füd

2009-02-02T21:26:00.003-06:00

For some reason I like to take pictures of food I make. Here's Super Bowl dinner...

Seafood Gumbo

Pulled pork, creamy cole slaw and Bone Suckin' Sauce

11 Things Bourbon Will Make You Do That Dave Casper Won't

2009-02-02T10:30:00.000-06:00

1. Make you feel better about yourself, dipshit.

2. Make you forget about things, like that Hungry Man meal you left in the oven six hours ago.

3. Intimidate people around you when you order it in a bar straight (ordering Dave Casper straight has never intimidated anyone, just confused them).

4. Make every woman within forty feet of you look better.

5. Cure sobriety (although that one may have to be measured at a molecular level when comparing to Dave Casper to tell any real difference).

6. Make you instantly fluent in Bourbonese (see caveat on item 5).

7. Provide you with a near-insatiable desire to wear fancy clothes while riding horseback through town muttering something about bad crops.

8. Donate generously to the Sons of the Confederacy.

9. Wear a string bowtie.

10. Randomly sheer sheep (Dave Casper could not make anyone do that, while copious amounts of bourbon make just about anyone open to the idea).

11. ThriiGiIbiggleplex! Yeah! You!!

More Choose Your Own Adventure

2009-01-29T21:09:00.001-06:00

Why make decisions when you can do it for me?

If only there were some sort of taxpayer supported institution that granted access to books and meeting space.

2009-01-29T12:33:00.003-06:00

ShorewoodNOW blogger Joe Mangiamele is proposing that the Village of Shorewood take over the soon-to-be-closed Harry W. Schwartz bookstore because it provides a service villagers apparently can't get along without.

Right.

Nine Lies I've Told to Get What I Want

2009-01-28T19:30:00.005-06:00

1. I'm British.

2. The check is good.

3. I promise I won't go over the speed limit.

4. I used to be a fighter pilot.

5. I know the owner.

6. Of course I know your name.

7. I'll feed it every day.

8. I swear it was like that when I got here.

9. Eight-and-a-half.

Successful each time.

Sustainability

2009-01-26T20:01:00.002-06:00

A local company today sent an e-mail to all employees linking them to the online corporate newsletter. In the newsletter was an article on the company's recent efforts toward sustainability, and it's goal of eliminating paper waste whenever possible.

Two hours later, every employee received a hand-delivered, four-page, full-color glossy version of the same newsletter at their desk.

KHAAAAAAN!!!!!

2009-01-14T15:50:00.002-06:00

Well, looks like Kirk won.

RIP, Ricardo Montalban.

Something "blue"

2009-01-10T17:58:00.003-06:00

I'm not sure what made me think of it, but the other day I turned to my fiancé and said, "Hey, tell me if you think this would be funny to say at the end of a first date."

"Oh no," she mumbled.

Pretending I didn't hear her, I continued. "So a guy is dropping a girl off after a first date, and he says to her, 'Would you mind if I came inside?' And she says, 'Yes, I would." And he responds, 'How about on your belly, then?'"

She didn't think it was funny. I'm still laughing over it.

It's those little differences that keep us from getting bored with one another.

I think.

Choose your own adventure

2009-01-05T19:10:00.001-06:00

I need some feedback...

Christmas Craft Time

2008-12-23T10:33:00.002-06:00

On December 15th, 2007, I was blessed with the best early Christmas present ever: a beautiful, healthy baby girl. While this is technically her second Christmas, it's the first one in which she's actually able to be actively involved in the festivities. So just this week she and I sat down to make some homemade Christmas ornaments. Daddy/Daughter time is one of my favorite things, so I thought I'd take some time to recommend a great project for all you dads out there to do with your little angels!

Step 1
Go back in time about 22 months. Conceive a child. A beautiful baby girl is recommended, however boys work just as well.

Step 2
Allow child to bake for 9 to 10 months, or until done. Set aside (Note: you should check on the child periodically).

Step 3
Purchase an expensive Kitchen Aid mixer for that special person in your life. Not the child, though, because he or she shouldn't be using heavy duty kitchen equipment or ovens, and most likely isn't particularly good at following recipes.

Step 4
Mix the following ingredients in a large bowl until smooth:

4 cups flour
1 cup salt
1.5 cups water

Most recipes for "claybake" call for using a large spoon to mix the ingredients. I would recommend a spatula, if you have one, because it'll make you feel more like a real chef. But it doesn't really matter what you use, because even after 15 minutes of mixing, you'll still have a powdery substance that isn't even close to resembling dough. Check to make sure you used the right amount of each ingredient. Mix for another 5 minutes. Look at the recipe again. Grow somewhat frustrated. Check on child. Explain to her that you aren't ignoring her but are rather involving her in a "family-fun" project, even if it means restricting her to a play saucer and pacifying her with pretzel rods and other assorted treats her mother doesn't want her to have, but, y'know, she isn't around right now, so what she doesn't know won't hurt her. This is an excellent time for bonding with your child and letting them know you're the "cool" parent. Swear at the proto-dough, then tell you're child that's "daddy-talk" and she isn't to repeat it. Remember that a while back you purchased an expensive Kitchen Aid mixer for your loved one and that it might actually do a far better job at mixing up dough than the now-broken spatula and a now-dented mixing bowl. Transfer ingredients to the expensive Kitchen Aid mixer bowl, attach dough-hook (hey, there's even an attachment just for this!) and begin mixing.

It should be noted now that one of the things that makes an expensive Kitchen Aid mixer an expensive Kitchen Aid mixer is the relatively powerful motor. Men have a tendency to view most any power tool as having two settings: Off and "Balls-Out-Maximum-Hell-Yeah!" While this philosophy generally works when applied to drills, table saws and jackhammers, it lacks a certain finesse when used with a bowl of still-powdery dough. So, go against every single piece of genetic programming in your body and DO NOT set the mixer to 10. Start with 3 or 4. If you choose to ignore this advice, add the extra step of cleaning sticky powder off the kitchen walls here.

Step 5
Realize that 1.5 cups of water simply isn't enough. Slowly add more water to the mixture as the dough-hook turns until, finally, you end up with a smooth, doughy consistency.

Step 6
Break off about a quarter of the dough and form into a ball. This is kind of like making hamburger patties. Shrug off the feeling of regret you're suddenly having over making ornaments instead of getting ready to grill burgers. Don't actually make patties, though, because you're baking ornaments and not burgers (sorry to keep reminding you of that).

Step 7
Place the ball of dough on a flat surface and use a rolling pin to roll the dough about 1/4" flat. By the way, the rolling pin is that large, cylindrical object with handles that always causes the kitchen drawer to get stuck whenever you try to open it.

Step 8
Did I mention you needed more flour? You need more flour. You should have put it on the flat surface before rolling the dough. And some on the rolling pin. And on the ball of dough. You'll probably want to keep a light layer on your hands as well. In fact, just be sure to keep a coating of flour on just about everything in the kitchen from this point on in the recipe. Your child will love it, although it may someday result in her having a strange desire to watch Scarface over and over again. Hey, beats Barney and Friends.

Step 9
Now for the fun part. Use a cookie cutter to cut out 2" round shapes from the flattened dough. If you don't have a cookie cutter, a rocks glass will do. Only, make sure to remove any remaining bourbon from the rocks glass before doing any cutting. Place cut-out dough on a cookie sheet. Continue making dough balls, rolling them out and cutting out circles until the dough is gone or you've simply had enough. Nudge your child awake because she's sleeping through "family-fun" time.

Step 10
Bake in a 300 degree oven for 30 minutes. Oh yeah, you should have started pre-heating your oven right around Step 4. This is why you're supposed to read all the way through recipes before attempting them.

Step 11
Realize you never set the timer. Try and recall what was on the television when you put the dough in the oven and estimate how much time has passed since then. Or figure out how much booze was in your glass when you put them in. That's right, a cocktail is recommended for this recipe. If you're upset that you've arrived at Step 11 only to find that you should have been drinking this entire time, please re-read Step 10.

Step 12
When the smoke alarm goes off, the ornaments are definitely done.

Step 13
Remove ornaments from oven and allow to cool. Put child to bed. "Family-fun" time is over for the night.

So now that you've baked the ornaments, it's time to decorate them. If you don't, you've basically made rock-hard flavorless cookies that are only sufficient as tree ornaments if at one time you donned your tree with beer cans...ahem. This is where your child really gets involved, because a little bit of finger painting goes a long way when it comes to festive designs to be appreciated by grandparents. And apparently finger paints are edible, which means you can kill two birds with one stone and not have to worry about making dinner for your little one! If you're lucky like me, your child will have artistic talents that envy most post-modern painters. If you're unlucky, it'll look more like a bunch of clowns just got fingerprinted in your kitchen.

One last thing: a key characteristic of any ornament is the ability to hang it from a tree. Sure, you could have cut a small hole into each one before you baked them, but why do that when you can just as easily drill one into them once everything else is done? I recommend using a small bit and a drill set for "Balls-Out-Maximum-Hell-Yeah!"

Merry Christmas!

The Christmas Spirit...

2008-12-20T19:24:00.002-06:00

...does not entail acting like a Queen S*** and totally screwing over others. It does, however (if you were raised by an Italian great-grandmother), involve calling someone on the carpet for doing something they really, really shouldn't have done.

Stay tuned to see how this one turns out.

I've just kinda run outta things to say...

2008-12-16T20:54:00.002-06:00

...and there are people in my home that are actually not too unhappy about that!

Heck, I'm in

2008-12-08T08:49:00.001-06:00

If Santa angers you, these will surely piss you off!

2008-12-07T11:58:00.004-06:00

Apparently posting pictures of my Christmas concoctions does more to illicit an angry response than anything I could possibly write on politics, religion or just about anything else. So, that in mind, here's another little something I made...

Brandy-soaked cherries dipped in chocolate with a dark-chocolate Kiss and sliced almonds.

In the spirit

2008-12-05T21:42:00.002-06:00

So in the spirit, I made these little "Santa" cookies all on my own. Alright, so maybe they didn't turn out as perfect as the picture in the cookbook. And I'm not yet sure what they're going to taste like. But gosh darnit, I made them, and that's all that freakin' matters! YEAH!

Boldly Protecting Xmas

2008-12-04T17:01:00.003-06:00

Commander William Riker of the Enterprise travels back in time to provide security at the first Christmas.

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T12:21:00.002-06:00

The Dave Casper Experience, a subsidiary of Dave Casper Industries America and member of the Dave Casper International family, bringing you the latest in bioplastics, cold-fusion and blogging technology for the last thirty-five years, wishes you and yours a very happy Thanksgiving.

Opportunity: Missed

2008-11-21T14:04:00.003-06:00

This afternoon I visited the Grand Avenue (Milwaukee's piss-poor excuse for downtown shopping) when I noticed a new store called Balloon Universe, and it occurred to me that if the owners had just invested a bit more time into naming their shop they may have eventually arrived at the far more awesome Ballooniverse.

From Where I Fell

2008-11-20T20:29:00.012-06:00

Back in the tail-end of the last century I was traveling through the American Southwest on my own when my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. Cellphones weren't nearly as common as they are now, and even if I had one I doubt there was any chance I'd ever pick up a signal. After waiting about two hours without seeing any sign of life on a road apparently only I had chosen to travel, I figured I'd hoof it towards a gas station I'd seen what seemed like ten, fifteen miles back.

As fate would have it, not ten minutes after I started walking, something started to move on the horizon. At first I thought it might have just been a hallucination. I hadn't been smart enough to be sure I had water when I first started driving through the desert and the temperature was easily breaking three digits. But the further I walked the more real the image became. And the more real it became, the more horrified I grew.

I'm not sure if it was the black cloud of exhaust that seemed to have a life of its own or the roaring engine that sounded like every factory built since the Industrial Revolution were shaking themselves apart under their own raw power, but I knew immediately this was not going to be the source of any sort of help. I stood feeling eternally motionless just staring at this monstrosity thundering towards me. Maybe it was a slight breeze or the sound of vultures that snapped me out of my terrified trance, but I finally started looking around me for a place to hide. There was nowhere to go. No place to run. Maybe if I pretend to be a rock they won't see me I thought. Heat stroke was settling in. I could just start to make out the outline of the beast when I began contorting my body and performing somersaults. I'm a tumbleweed. A non-descript tumbleweed. Nothing to see here. It was a pick-up truck, but one unlike any I'd ever seen. Its body was a mish-mash of rusted metal and poorly tanned leather, all pulled over what I imagined were innards that had long deserted their Detroit origins. Flames shot from the exhaust pipes, and even under an unrelenting burning sun, the headlights shined bright, boring right through me.

I am part of the desert. I am sand. Sand that just messed its pants, but sand nonetheless.

The truck never showed any signs of slowing. One moment it was speeding along with little regard for what stood in its way and the next it was simply stopped. The smell of melting rubber and old, recycled motor oil filled the air. The engine no longer growled, but black exhaust and flames still spewed forth from wherever they chose on this four-wheeled Frankenstein. An otherwise silent scene was interrupted only by the faint sound of my whimpering. I was on my knees. A tear ran down my cheek.

I am a crying cactus.

I could hear the sound of metal upon metal as the driver side door creaked open. An old boot fell to the ground, slowly followed by another. Below the chassis I watched as they made their way around the truck. There seemed to be a limp. One foot moving more slowly than the other. A new smell was present. Many years later I would learn it was the scent of blood.

I am just a mirage. I'm not really here.

The boots walked off the road and I could hear them crushing every piece of stone that hadn't yet turned to sand. One dragged after the other until they came to a stop just in front of me. I didn't dare look up.

"Well well well," a wheezing, graveled voice said. "A new toy."

I am nothing.

And then I blacked out.

******************************

When I came to, the heat and bad odors had been washed away by cool air and the smell of clean leather. I was in the backseat of what appeared to be an air-conditioned sedan. A single man sat in front, humming a tune as he drove.

"Ah, you're awake."

I tried to say something, but words wouldn't come out.

"Don't try to talk, buddy. There's a bottle of water back there. Drink some of that before you do anything else."

I looked around. Next to me was a folded up wheelchair. Leaning against it was a gallon jug. I unscrewed the cap and let water pour down my throat. I started to cough. The man laughed.

"Hey now, slow down. You're going to make yourself sick. It's a good thing I drove by when I did, yesiree. People always make the mistake of trying to drive this stretch of road without checking their cars first or making sure they have enough water. It may be 1998, but you still have to treat this land with the same respect pioneers did a hundred years ago. You were walking the wrong way, you know, if that was your car I passed. Isn't nothing in that direction that could've helped you. But I know of a gas station another half-hour or so this way that'll get you all fixed up and on your way again."

"Thank you," I said. "But, the truck? What happened with that truck?"

"Truck? Wasn't any truck so far as I could see. You were nearly unconscious when I found you, just laying there on the side of the road. It's damn hot out here, and you didn't have any water. Sure as hell weren't dressed right for hiking in the desert. Probably just hallucinating. That's it. No. No. There was no truck. Nobody but you and the desert."

I shook my head, trying to clear it. So I had just imagined it all. All the fear I had existed only in my mind.

"Name is Stearns," he said, "Elliot Stearns. I'm just out for a little drive, checking things out, giving my two-cents to whoever'll take it. Sometimes I write it down. Got myself a computer back home and think I might put it all in there someday if I can ever get the hang of it. Kinda like an electronic diary. Maybe some other folks might like to read it. Oh, who am I kidding? I'm probably the only one who cares."

"I'd read it."

"Sure you would, kid. Sure you would. Guy who sees things after spending just a little time in the desert. Just the audience I'd want." Stearns laughed.

I readjusted myself in my seat. The water was making a world of difference. Everything started to come into focus. Eyeing up the wheelchair, I noticed with a slight jolt that propped up next to it was a shotgun. The craftsmanship was beautiful. The metal was clean and glistening. Intricate detail was carved into the stock. Only, it was marred. For along the top were a series of what looked to be rough, hand-cut notches. One was obviously fresher than the rest.

"Nope...no truck at all."

Forever bothered by that image

2008-11-19T19:49:00.001-06:00

Have you ever been the unfortunate and unwilling witness to an event that you wish you could simply purge from your mind?

Please share.

Gas prices are dropping

2008-11-18T21:59:00.001-06:00

And tonight I got to say "I haven't seen prices this low since the beginning of the century."

I'm going to start making a lot more meaningful comments regarding the turn of the century. Watch out now.

Sweatin' the big stuff

2008-11-16T13:31:00.001-06:00

In Transformers, when Bumblebee had his legs torn off, why didn't they just use the Allspark to fix him?

Uh oh...

2008-11-14T15:26:00.000-06:00

...looks like someone may have moved back home!

A thought

2008-11-04T23:07:00.002-06:00

From my buddy Joe, a quote from Alexander Tyler:

"A democracy is always temporary in nature; it simply cannot exist as a permanent form of government. A democracy will continue to exist up until the time that voters discover they can vote themselves generous gifts from the public treasury. From that moment on, the majority always votes for the candidates who promise the most benefits from the public treasury, with the result that every democracy will finally collapse due to loose fiscal policy, which is always followed by a dictatorship."
"The average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence:

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;
2. From spiritual faith to great courage;
3. From courage to liberty;
4. From liberty to abundance;
5. From abundance to complacency;
6. From complacency to apathy;
7. From apathy to dependence;
8. From dependence back into bondage "

-Alexander Tyler – History Professor, University of Edinburgh – 1787.

With all sincerity, I hope that Tyler is wrong. But if you sat somewhere tonight occupied by a vast majority of Obama supporters, and listened to them express their hopes upon the Obama victory annoucement, it's simply hard to hold on to that hope.

But as I said before, Obama will be my president. I will not disparage him as Democrats have Bush over the last eight years. So, President Obama, now's your chance: fix it.

Just in case...

2008-11-04T09:21:00.001-06:00

...you aren't sure how to vote, just remember that I'm always there as an option.

One last time for good measure

2008-11-03T20:49:00.003-06:00

And while on the topic of political yard signs, how long before the numbnuts take down the "Impeach Bush/Cheney?" There's gotta be a statute of limitations on that somewhere.

Further Former Foolishness

2008-11-01T19:56:00.002-05:00

That was also fun!

Here's a little something I did some years back to promote Drinking Right. Since internet fads come and go faster than a teenage boy on prom night, here's a little context for this video.

And if you're looking for something to do on election night, why not drop by Drinking Right? There's a contest and everything! If I can remember under which rock I put my savings, I may pop in myself.

What I Watch (or DVR)

2008-10-31T20:25:00.003-05:00

Sunday: The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Family Guy, American Dad
Monday: Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Heroes
Tuesday: Gavin & Stacey
Wednesday: Sons of Anarchy
Thursday: Smallville
Friday: Star Wars: Clone Wars
Saturday: Potpourri

The thing is, I've found that I'm watching them all with immense regularity. It's like I ate a bran-muffin with a little TV Guide mixed into it.

I always thought having the word "Sham" in the name of a product was a bad idea...

2008-10-30T10:22:00.002-05:00

...but here it's truth in advertising.

"I can't believe it's not earned!"

2008-10-29T15:22:00.000-05:00

Or Anakin at Obi Wan!

2008-10-27T08:30:00.003-05:00

If you're going to use strange analogies, you might want to be sure they're accurate, first.

And no smartass comments from Nick!

2008-10-25T21:31:00.001-05:00

Oh...the things I used to do!

Blast from the Past!

2008-10-25T20:54:00.001-05:00

With another election around the bend, I thought it might be fun to revisit my 2006 bid for every single elected office there was.

Who's watching the watchers?

2008-10-25T20:29:00.000-05:00

Michael S. Malone, for one:

The absolute nadir (though I hate to commit to that, as we still have two weeks before the election) came with Joe the Plumber. Middle America, even when they didn’t agree with Joe, looked on in horror as the press took apart the private life of an average person who had the temerity to ask a tough question of a Presidential candidate. So much for the Standing Up for the Little Man, so much for Speaking Truth to Power, so much for Comforting the Afflicted and Afflicting the Comfortable, and all of those other catchphrases we journalists used to believe we lived by.

Convince Me

2008-10-22T18:23:00.003-05:00

Unless John McCain rips off his head, revealing a one-eyed alien beneath that supports abortions for some and little American flags for everyone else, there's no way in the world I'll be voting for Obama. Even then, I'll probably vote for Bob Barr.

But I am prepared to accept Obama as my president. Unlike what so many on the left have done for the last eight years, I'll do my best support this country's president, if not so much for the man, then the office.

To do so, though, requires that I be made comfortable with some of the things he and his campaign have up their collective sleeves. In particular, the combination of these things have left me with a very uneasy feeling as of late. Yes, I do believe there's something frighteningly similar to mid-1930s Germany about it all. No, I don't believe that Obama and his supporters are planning on rounding up Jews, gypsies and the general opposition and send them off to camps, but there really is something about this cult of personality that sends chills up my spine.

So I ask of my readers on the left: convince me that there's nothing to worry about. Demonstrate that it won't go there. Reach across the aisle and help me see your side of things. Because right now I'm having a hard time doing it, but that doesn't mean I'm not willing to see what you've got.

Is that Dave Coulier?

2008-10-21T13:11:00.001-05:00

The Final...Something

2008-10-19T17:24:00.001-05:00

My friend Chaz had never heard the original version of this song for something like fifteen years. The first time he heard it, then, he kicked himself for not knowing it existed. Here's to hoping he's seeing this now so that he doesn't have to live another fifteen years in the dark.

What were they thinking?

2008-10-18T17:40:00.004-05:00

This video places a black, Muslim man once arrested for driving under the influence of marijuana alongside Barack Obama.

It is therefore very racist.

White People Dancing

2008-10-16T13:04:00.001-05:00

Another old video from my days as a professional hog wrestler (although it includes very little hog wrestling). This is northern Wisconsin's greatest band, Rocker. Make sure to check out the guy with the awesome "bowling" dance moves, and don't miss Rocker's signature tag-line at the end of the video.

My famous friends

2008-10-16T12:52:00.001-05:00

A buddy of mine posted this old video on You Tube of my friend Stone Cold Steve Austin and a guy walking around in the background that looked just like him. I think I may have been the one holding the camera, but I'm positive I was drunk the entire weekend this was filmed. Hog Wrestling will do that to you.

Because it's fun.

2008-10-11T18:40:00.001-05:00

Vampire Weekend. A-Punk.

How do you respond when someone speaks from the heart?

2008-10-10T22:18:00.002-05:00

A complete disgrace to his race. Wait until Obama shuts him down. Obama 08, baby!

More racism from the left? A preview of how an Obama administration hopes to silence dissent?

And all because James T. had his say.

Wonderful.

Yaaaaaaaay!

2008-10-10T15:29:00.001-05:00

The next big thing (to crash)

2008-10-10T12:56:00.003-05:00

Five years ago it was the dot-com bubble that burst.

Now it's the housing market.

My prediction is the next big thing (since ultimately nobody will learn from the lessons of today and we're a country just dying to invest in something) will be small-business loans. Someone will get the idea in their head that while lending to home borrowers with the hope of the property value increasing was a bad idea, lending to people who want to start up businesses with the stated goal of making money will be a much better idea. And while the intent will be noble at first, particularly in an economy coming out of a recession and people looking for new job creation, it will become so perverted by special interests that eventually lenders will find themselves giving money to unqualified people with hair-brained business schemes that don't have a chance of turning a profit, much less paying back the money.

Of course, money will have to become available to lend, first, but once that happens, I see us starting our way down this path yet again. This is just my guess at how we'll get there.

Why won't people vote Obama?

2008-10-10T11:30:00.002-05:00

Because they can't read.

I really do love living in Shorewood, but frankly I'm not too big a fan of some of my snide, juvenile neighbors (Renee, I'm NOT talking about you!) who also lack in some fundemental understanding of Constitutional rights. I guess I finally feel some sympathy for those fellows over at Whallah! when they gripe about Kevin Fischer.

Man, they'll give anyone a blog these days, won't they?

Pictures from the Waukesha McCain/Palin Rally

2008-10-09T15:58:00.015-05:00

Our tickets

Our place in line when we first arrived. Pretty good sized crowd. I think we waited in line close to two hours before we even got close to the entrance. But it gave us some time to check out the sights.

There were lots of signs referencing "lipstick."

And shirts, too.Actually, it seemed like Sarah Palin cornered the market when it came to signage content. This guy held his sign high for the entire two hours we were in line.

I was accused of taking this picture not because of the sign, but because of the person holding it. Well, that's just wrong. I always thought that II Chronicles 7:14 was a great verse!

Talk about your Young Republicans!

And even younger!
Once inside, we didn't have the greatest view of anything going on. The town hall format really didn't lend itself to giving everyone a very good seat. But we did get to hear McCain and Palin speak, and even hear from someone who looked and sounded suspiciously a lot like James T. Harris!

The real payoff was after all the speeches were done, though, and we had an opportunity to shake hands with Senator McCain and his wife.

I've got lots more pictures, and may upload some others at another time, but right now I'm beat, have to make dinner and have no desire to play with Blogger's awful formatting issues every time I upload another pic!

What should Dave Casper blog about next?
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The Dave Casper Experience

All done.

Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's pesticide-free lawn care

Token Leftie

What "Keith Schmitz" must be talking about

Priorities

Nobody saw this coming...

True Dat

Your building is ugly

Consider yourself warned

Let's protest CO2 emissions!

The need to believe

How to run a new restaurant the bad way

Oh, that's rich

Not every bow is bad

The Packers could probably some organizational shake-up

"a bunch of gay Hillary guys in Boystown, Chicago were wrong about the Bushes"

UPDATED: Open Book...

Do you listen to what you're saying?

Dipshit(s)

Membership has its privileges

In which I predict the future

Predict the next target...er...destination

Maybe the pants just don't look good on you

Left-Wing Loon Loses It On Obama

Somehow I doubt this would be as fun

A sausage and cheese basket might have been more appreciated

It's too hard

Let's make some meaningful changes to MCTS.

For the record...

Things you shouldn't spend your money or time on

Stop. Please, just stop.

The nerdiest, ugliest people...

Milwaukee Tea Party - 09/19/2009 - Part 1

Milwaukee Tea Party - 09/19/2009 - Part 2

The beauty of free speech

Question for the savvy food shopper

Jar full of jellybeans, but number debate continues

Blegging for a good cause (and a chance for you to win!)

The stimulus couldn't help them

Someone better get a lawyer

Density

My one question on President Obama's speech to students

D*ck-a-D*ck

Real life can be so disappointing

There's no amount of mercy in the world...

Huh?

I'm expressly happy

"Birfers"

Bob, Bill, Lou and Little White Lies

Money Making Opportunity

Like the foul stench of a dead hamster

So who, exactly...

I'm all for the executive pay cap...

On Top of Things

Füd

11 Things Bourbon Will Make You Do That Dave Casper Won't

More Choose Your Own Adventure

If only there were some sort of taxpayer supported institution that granted access to books and meeting space.

Nine Lies I've Told to Get What I Want

Sustainability

KHAAAAAAN!!!!!

Something "blue"

Choose your own adventure

Christmas Craft Time

The Christmas Spirit...

I've just kinda run outta things to say...

Heck, I'm in

If Santa angers you, these will surely piss you off!

In the spirit

Boldly Protecting Xmas

Happy Thanksgiving

Opportunity: Missed

From Where I Fell

Forever bothered by that image

Gas prices are dropping

Sweatin' the big stuff

Uh oh...

A thought

Just in case...

Dck-a-Dck